I Called My Boss “Miss Piggy” to Get Fired!

At my previous job, I was miserable. I was so unhappy the effects of my misery became physical. I threw up every morning because I didn’t want to go to work. At one point I said “Self, all you have to loose is a paycheck. Get the hell out of here.” Then I thought, maybe I didn”t have to loose the “paycheck”….hmmmm….. So I began to deliberately get myself fired so I would be able to collect unemployment. This was the most fun anyone can have. I hated these people, they were mean, archaic (internet was outlawed!) and down right stupid. I got my revenge by doing absolutely nothing all day long, saying inappropriate things around the office and making some really expensive long distance phone calls. Almost a month passed and nothing, not even a verbal warning, I was going to really need to be grossly inappropriate. Enter my boss….a nearing middle age singleton that went out every night as if she were 21. Smelling like leftover vodka tonics, she would sashay around the office in pumps that were too tight her feet would bulge out. Also buldging were her curves out of cheap polyester wrap dresses (she wore these EVERY day). Her eye make up was way too heavy and often all over her face. All of these things combined with her ears that would stick out of her stringy blonde wavy hair earned her the nickname “Miss Piggy” around the office (behind her back, of course). That was it, I began calling her Miss Piggy every chance I got. A week later, I was gone. It was incredibly liberating. I enjoyed the holiday season at home with my family and even took some wine classes during the day to fill up my time until the next best thing came along. You know what? The next best thing ALWAYS comes along, so “f” that pig.

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I Called My Boss "Miss Piggy" to Get Fired!, 3.5 out of 5 based on 55 ratings

This post was submitted by DNice.


12 Responses to “I Called My Boss “Miss Piggy” to Get Fired!”

  • The Line For Bread Says:

    I knew their must have been someone out there being an unemployed sarcastic blogger like myself. Glad to have found your site.

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  • The Line For Bread Says:

    bahhh of course i put in my blog’s address wrong…that should work if interested.

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  • admin Says:

    Happy to link to your site if you’ll do the same!

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  • tuxxoscar Says:

    If you really did those things then you were fired “for cause”. If you are fired for cause you are ineligable for unemployment benefits. Did you make this up?

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  • DNice Says:

    no, i did not make this up. when i was called into HR with miss piggy cowardly sitting behind me, i was let go because “we weren’t a good fit for each other” (ya, no kidding, internet was not permitted and we had to circulate office news via memo). I was also told by HR that they would not contest my unemployment.

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  • fred Says:

    So your the people our country is supporting. Losers who can’t suck it up, or look for another job because your too lazy. That is exactly why this country is where it’s at today. Poor work ethics. Guess what, nobody likes work, that’s why it’s called work! Lazy losers!

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  • Amii Says:

    Reading this, I about fell out of my chair laughing, and if u were here I would have high 5′d you on the way down.

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  • chris Says:

    hahaha im so close to doing the same dame thing, i actually blew up on my psycho fat lard butt boss 2 days ago, shes so stupid and redneck inbred it takes hand movement and fireworks to get her pot head ArSS’s attention, i work for a cleaning company for office buildings….comon it aint hard….but she makes life hell for some stupid reason, her dirty trash family comes in to visit during the closing hours, NOT! to mention its a bank!! derrrrr and the vault is right friggin there! and i get her little stupid sheets of paper about a bug somewhere 40 stories away lol. just stupid people i feel bad for there parents…. anyways im goin back to school so F her!

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  • Carlos Says:

    I did almost the same thing but in a diffeent way. I had a very stressful job with deadlines and either 80-90 hour work weeks or nothing at all to do.However, it paid well and my boss was a great guy.
    Two years ago, we got reshuffled and received a new boss. She was an ex-EE (Electrical Engineer) who got an MBA and was now in Cost Estimating. She was a horrible boss She liked to work from home, shuttle her small childresn all over the place (during the day) and work late at night. They called her “Online by Nine Lisa”. It was not unusual to have your E-mails read at 2:00AM. When she decided to get involved ahe became a micro-manager. Necessary signatures were impossible to obtain in time. She would interrupt conversations to “talk to her contractor for hours.”

    Finally, I had a meeting with her boss and blasted her.
    A week after this she put me into a Performance Improvement Program,citing problems with my work.The phone conversations with her were hilariou. She told me that she did not appreciate my candor. She said I had said things about her that had never been said before to her face. She accused me of insubordination, threats, and said that I was not giving her the respect due to her as a manager.

    I shrugged and went along with the process,being laid off at the end of November last year.
    There are jobs in my profession, but I’ve decided to take the time off to decompress. Why not? This is the first time in 23 years that I have been without a job.

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  • bidmyreno.com Says:

    I’m not a big fan of making fun of people (who knows, this manager may have had a husband walk out on her at 40-something and really needed the ego boost that being a slutty cougar bought her, etc.) but the story is hilarious (reminds me of that Office Space movie).

    However, the OP should have posted a disclaimer: “don’t try this at home kids, if you burn bridges, you potentially lose valuable references — or gain a bad reputation.”

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  • anz Says:

    I think you were quite lucky, as if they have had an incisive lawyer you could have ended being prosecuted for bullying and genre discrimination.
    You sound as to be such a delightful freak yourself.

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  • Jay Says:

    Unemloyment is not a tool for you to use to take time off to “decompress”. I worked my arse off in a job I loathed and got laid off anyway.

    These stories about folks who werent happy and just decided to delibately get fired to have some free time and pay are terrible.

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