I Called My Boss “Miss Piggy” to Get Fired!
At my previous job, I was miserable. I was so unhappy the effects of my misery became physical. I threw up every morning because I didn’t want to go to work. At one point I said “Self, all you have to loose is a paycheck. Get the hell out of here.” Then I thought, maybe I didn”t have to loose the “paycheck”….hmmmm….. So I began to deliberately get myself fired so I would be able to collect unemployment. This was the most fun anyone can have. I hated these people, they were mean, archaic (internet was outlawed!) and down right stupid. I got my revenge by doing absolutely nothing all day long, saying inappropriate things around the office and making some really expensive long distance phone calls. Almost a month passed and nothing, not even a verbal warning, I was going to really need to be grossly inappropriate. Enter my boss….a nearing middle age singleton that went out every night as if she were 21. Smelling like leftover vodka tonics, she would sashay around the office in pumps that were too tight her feet would bulge out. Also buldging were her curves out of cheap polyester wrap dresses (she wore these EVERY day). Her eye make up was way too heavy and often all over her face. All of these things combined with her ears that would stick out of her stringy blonde wavy hair earned her the nickname “Miss Piggy” around the office (behind her back, of course). That was it, I began calling her Miss Piggy every chance I got. A week later, I was gone. It was incredibly liberating. I enjoyed the holiday season at home with my family and even took some wine classes during the day to fill up my time until the next best thing came along. You know what? The next best thing ALWAYS comes along, so “f” that pig.
This post was submitted by DNice.