How it took 6 months to hire me and 6 seconds to get rid of me

I was looking for a job here in England and found an ad in the Sunday Times for Market Development Manager for North Europe Middle East Africa, I have the background and applied. It was in travel reservations systems and has a name similar to an anstromer excommunicated by the pope

I had the
(i) HR interview
(ii) telephone interview
(iii) Second interview
(iv) psycho test
(v) verbal test
(vi) numerical test
had to provide references, the whole shebang, very thorough —-it took them 6 months

Now the reservations systems business is weird and takes a lot of getting used to, my counterpart for South EMEA had only ever worked in the airline industry and new it all backwards whereas I knew nothing

The training and induction was in a word CRAP
I had to design it myself but learnt quickly. I had my probation review and it went very well. I specifically raised the issue of my lack of experience as I was worried about my position and was specifically told not to worry.

As a result I had turned down other approached I had received.

There was a big bid to prepare that HQ (NJ) had had for a few months and basically sat on their fat arsed dicking around doing nothing until about a week before the deadline came…it was dropped on my desk to complete, I cancelled medical treatment to make it and in the end did a good job, the americans thanked me for my efforts.

However the business was doing much worse than budget due to MASSIVELY over optimistic forecasts, my job disintegrated into death by status report “why are we behind budget?” (FOR THE SAME REASONS I GAVE LAST WEEK YOU MORON!)

they also announced a new compensation scheme for staff which they were not to keen about as the results they were judged on were out of the sales staff\’s control

anyways almost 6 months to the day i got the don\’t come Monday on the Friday evening.

on the Sunday they were advertising in the Sunday times for new staff (as the staff who had refused to take up the new package were fired)

on the Monday, I saw my job exactly, with two to three words changed advertised on monster (including the word manager changed to analyst)
with £13,000 taken off the salary

This had obviously been planned months in advance, at about the same time as my waste of time of a review

Oh and it gets better, they needed to provide some information for the Dept of Social Security so I could claim benefits

The first time the DSS asked, they sat on their fat arses dicking around and did nothing

The second time, they sat on their fat arses dicking around and did nothing

the third time they sat on their fat arses dicking around and did nothing

the fourth time they sat on their fat arses dicking around and did nothing

the fifth time they sat on their fat arses dicking around and did nothing

As a result I had to wait 6 months to get any benefit thanks to them not giving a stuff.

This happened in 2002 and I am still bitter, I was forced to take a job in London which is a heck of a commute and so awful it made me ill (they had just fired a guy who won them about £3m worth of business and had to rehire him as a contractor to keep the contract – lucky it wasnt me I would have told them where to stick it) anyways that job was so bad I got shingles and quit

I will never trust an American company again, and for those parasites who stabbed me in the back and lied to me, I wrote two songs for you

one called “drop dead you scum” to the tune of Advance Australia fair (the title is the entire lyric it also works to hey jude) and
“I wish you colonic cancer this christmas (cos you were always cancerous arseholes to me)” this is a work in progress

I don\’t trust employers anymore (Brits are incompetent and Americans are backstabbers) and now run my own business

good luck to all the poor sods who have been shafted

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How it took 6 months to hire me and 6 seconds to get rid of me, 3.3 out of 5 based on 9 ratings

This post was submitted by adrian.


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