If a crazy person lets you go that means you’re sane right?

I started working for a very small company in early 2010. They told me they were hiring me to help the company president stay organized. She apparently had tons of leads on new business but had trouble keeping track of everything and staying in touch with networking contacts. They forgot to mention that she had severe undiagnosed ADHD and a textbook case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

The first task I had was to help the president (let’s call her Crazy) plagiarize documents for a report that she was supposed to write that was 2 months overdue. I tried to avoid involvement, which culminated a few weeks later in her blaming me for everything that was wrong with the report including screaming at me for not completing things she never assigned to me. This insane blaming happened on several other occasions as well. One time she told me I was stupid. I wanted to quit, but several of my equally miserable coworkers told me that when people quit that the owners would never give anyone a good reference.

Crazy would often wake up with some “brilliant” idea of what our company should do, and then we would all have to drop what we were doing in order to research her nonsensical whims. These had nothing to do with reality at all, and often focused on things we had no qualifications or contacts for (huge defense contracts, building power plants, rescuing oiled wildlife in the Gulf).

One day, I was looking for the other owner of the company (let’s call her Angry due to her tendency to scream at inappropriate people, such as the auditor from the IRS). I was informed that Angry was at the dealership buying a truck for the business. Given that the company hardly had any business, I can’t imagine what they thought they needed a truck for. The brand new truck cost $21,000.

The following Tuesday, Crazy and Angry called me into their office. Crazy informed me that I was being laid off at the end of the day because the business had financial trouble and not enough work to keep us all busy. She told me they would do anything they could to help me find another job and that I would receive a good reference. Angry looked like she might cry. As it began to dawn on me that I would never have to deal with these psychos again I began to get giddy. As Crazy was going through this rambling apology I had to try not to laugh. I think they thought I was going to be upset but I had to get out of there fast before the giggles set in.

My birthday was a few days later. One of my coworkers emailed me the account of what she did that day-spend an hour helping Crazy find her reading glasses in her filthy office, then getting yelled at for not getting Crazy’s feedback on a project that Crazy had already looked at and sent an email about. This not being my problem was the best birthday present ever.

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